Direction

Adrienne Gruberg, founder and president, and Schatzie

Please forgive me for repeating myself, if and when I do, but it is clear that when you’re a hard-wired caregiver, like me, there are recurring behavior patterns in your life and although you know you don’t want to repeat the mistakes of the past, or live through painful experiences again, you are hard pressed to shy away from the challenge when it is presented.

Creating The Caregiver’s Survival Network is truly the realization of a dream for me; it’s also a far more emotionally challenging task than I ever would have dreamed, but for very different reasons than I might have thought. Certainly, the website in and of itself is an exercise in extended caregiving. I have a need to make life better and easier for others going through versions of what I went through as a caregiver for my husband and his mother. There is a devil sitting on my shoulder asking me “Why are you putting yourself through this? Why aren’t you just travelling the world and having a high old time? Why do you have this need to be needed? Don’t you deserve to enjoy yourself?” In fairness to the devil, I have asked myself the same questions and rest assured I am no saint.

What I am, is grateful for the gifts that I have been given, mental, physical and material, and I recognize my need to be of service, not the need to be needed. I am a childless nurturer. I never really wanted to be a parent. But I am a great mentor. I never perceived myself as someone looking to fix anyone else; rather, I am looking to teach by example when I am equipped to and guide people to reach their own potential, whether or not I have reached my own. I believe The Caregiver’s Survival Network will provide me with the wealth of experiences to finally accomplish all the things I am capable of achieving.

How many times have we all heard “Do what you love and the money will follow?” Following your heart doesn’t come easy. I would never tell anyone not to try to attain their dream, but there are so many obstacles in the way that many people can’t even see their way clear to having a clear picture of what that dream is. Until very recently, I was so busy with other people’s well being that I didn’t realize that “Hey! That’s what I want to be doing.” I thrive on making other people’s lives better. Easier. I just hadn’t envisioned being able to do it on this scale.

I don’t care who invented it, the internet is a marvel; and as long as I have young, bright, energetic people around me to show me how to best utilize the wonder at my fingertips, I will be doing all that I can think of to make other lives the better for my having been here. I’m not ashamed to say that I love doing good for others. If there’s money in that, it will go back into continuing the good it can do. That is my dream.

The Who, What and Why of The Caregiver Survival Network

My name is Adrienne Gruberg and The Caregiver’s Survival Networkwas born out of my own experience and the experiences of other caregivers I came to know, admire, learn from and share both good and bad times with. My husband and I lived through a six year cancer ordeal and it took me over four years of constant caregiving before I even thought of asking for help. My hope is that I can make a difference in our lives, by calling attention to problems and needs we share–regardless of the differences in our circumstances–by providing a social network that will be a respite, a resource and a way to connect with others who share a common bond.

Adrienne Gruberg, founder and president, and Schatzie

Even before my husband passed away in 2011, I had this idea. Create a place where caregivers for patients of any age, with any illness, for any length of time, anywhere in the world, including caregivers whose loved ones have passed, could find people with common problems to connect, chat and share with. A place to keep a journal; to be as private or public as they wanted. A place where they could create their own networks or find organized groups where shared situations would be addressed on a weekly basis. A place where information and references could be found. A platform for experts to write articles directed on making caregiver’s lives easier.  This vision just keeps growing and getting more and more exciting.

It is very important that this site serves to create a growing caregiver awareness on the part of public, business and government sectors. Over thirty percent of all households have family members acting in a caregiver capacity. This figure will rise dramatically as Baby Boomers age. Right now eldercare is receiving the lion’s share of attention because Boomers’ parents are at an age where diabetes, heart disease, dementia, Alzheimer’s, depression and loneliness–just to name a few–are problems many of them are facing. Their children may live nearby or become long distance caregivers. They may face long term care issues, in or out of their own homes.

But eldercare, despite all of the press it is getting, is not the only problem that needs to be dealt with. Wherever care is needed, it brings a unique story. Young families with two healthy children have a third child who is born with physical disabilities. A couple in their fifties, whose children are all grown and have their own children, living great distances from their parents, now face the complications the wife’s adult onset diabetes is bringing. How will the husband cope? Is he financially able to hire help for his wife as her condition worsens? Will he reach out to local organizations for help? Men in general have a great deal of trouble asking for help – it’s seems like a sign of weakness. But it shouldn’t be. Veterans and their families have their unique problems, but could easily have a strong online support presence through our site.

There are also situations where accidents and short-term illness and convalescence have to be dealt with. In our current economy it is difficult for husbands, wives, parents or working children to give up hours working for fear of losing their jobs. How can a six-month recovery be handled without posing a problem to the family? Some people will have an easy time dealing with being a short-term caregiver. Others will feel their lives have become overwhelming. They need to ask for support too.

I could go on and on. Teens who are responsible for their parents and grandparents. Young families overwhelmed by the hardships of crippling childhood diseases. Parents caring for children with autism or Aspergers have their hands full too. There are so many scenarios and so many people who share them. They just need a place to connect.

Whether you write a journal and keep it completely private, chat on an open chat board, post your questions on disease specific discussion boards or just want the companionship or fellow caregivers, our plan is to provide you with a social network that will allow you to do all that and more.

I welcome your suggestions. I am eager to learn more about specific needs and to face and solve along with you. I know that our site will be able to help you when you are ready to ask for help.

Here’s looking forward to our full launch in September, 2012. Here’s to caregivers everywhere.

Yours with admiration,

Adrienne Gruberg

Founder and President

The Caregiver’s Survival Network

Adrienne’s Story

The Caregiver’s Survival Network grew out of a personal need to connect with other caregivers and be part of a community where experiences and feelings could be shared and support could always be gotten. Understanding there are so many causes that make someone a caregiver made this site evolve into a place where a caregiver for any reason, could come and have a place to air their feelings – keeping them in is both exhausting and counter- productive. There are many services available to caregivers of patient with specific needs, but our concern is exclusively to comfort and help the caregiver.